Words I needed to hear many years ago but I knew I wouldn't and now it's too late. I lost hope and got on with my life. All I have left to say to you Dianne is thank you for alienating me all those years. Thank you for the neglect, bastardizing me to my own children, destroying my family, trying to kill my youngest child. Your abusive attempts to beat me into submission and alienating me for being the nonconformist Each attack brought out the warrior in me and all of your neglect and abuse made me self sufficient, independent of all of you and very self reliant. You always bragged that you raised us to be survivors. You were wrong. You beat us all down and stole our dreams to feed your own selfish needs at our expense. You forced me out because you saw my empathy and compassion as a threat to you. You bastardized me for 25 years to hide the truth about how you stole..yeah I said STOLE MY CHILDREN. You betrayed my trust when I needed you most. You promised to help me keep my family together and then kept us apart so you could brainwash my kids into thinking I did not love them when you knew the whole time that was a god damned lie. You poisoned everyone's mind against me and made everyone think I was the selfish monster when all along the only monster was you. You are a covert narcissists that will never step up and take responsibility for your actions. I can accept that. You are a coward that hides behind others and pushed hot buttons so others do your dirty work.
When I speak out against you pull the sympathy card to manipulate everyone into believing that I am the bastard not you. You say you love...........You haven't got a clue what that word means. You weaponize your love and affection as easily as you lie and betray those who trust you. You weaponize your own children as easily as you weaponize your grandchildren. In the light you claim to want peace in your family. In the shadows your push hot buttons and fuel the anger that keeps everyone at odds with each other. I can't tell you how thankful I am not to be like any of you. I walked out on your cult because I got tired of being abused for being different, for being stronger than any of you, for thinking for myself.
With the help of some very compassionate outsiders I raised myself. I rose above the cult you call a family and I got out before any of you could destroy the only child I have left. You hate me because I spotted the emotional black hole inside of you and chose a different path in life. I am who I am inspite of all your efforts to destroy me and turn me into another one of your enablers.
I may be your scapegoat and your blacksheep. I might be the loser in your cult. but I am a winner in my world. I am also the ONLY one who would have taken care of you in your old age HAD you been smart enough to nurture my dreams and goals like a REAL mother, instead of trying to take them away from me. Now I am old enough to see you are right where you belong and I am not responsible for your problems or anything that goes wrong in your life or anyone else's. I am not the ugly stupid girl you raised me to believe I was.
I may be full of anger now but that is all part of the healing process that will one day make me free of you and your destructive cult forever.I am happy being the outsider, the black sheep and the loser in your family. I am a winner in my own family and I have the love and support you refused me all my life. I am free and there is not a damned thing you can do to take that away from me.
The days of you and your brainwashed haters taking away my happiness and everyone/ thing that causes it are over. I stopped asking the question, "What kind of parent does the despicable things to their children that you have done to me and continue to do to your grandchildren?"
I know the answer and I am beyond the need for your apology and admission of guilt. I don't need anything from you. The damage you have done to your own family, my mind and my health is repulsive to me.
I am sure if you were to ever read this blog your first reaction would be to play the sympathy card and rally the troops to do your dirty work. Same games same suckers, different day. [[[ YAWN]]]
